I haven’t done much writing so far this year. But I have been thinking. A lot.
I’ve been pondering my new year’s resolutions from last year, trying to decide if I have done the things I set out to do in 2009. I wanted to do something big, something meaningful. Did I do that? I think the answer is yes, but not in any way I would have imagined. When I stated that goal, I had in the back on my mind a couple specific events I was looking at, stuff I wanted to do that would have been huge. I haven’t done those things yet, mostly because other things took precedence. Like finding a job.
I was out of work from December 2008 through May 2009—almost 6 months of having no steady income. Six months of not really eating a proper meal unless invited to a friend’s house or there was some special even going on at the church. I ate a lot of ramen, maybe muffins if I was able to scrap some cash together. You’d be surprised at how bored you can get with eating ramen, even if you loved it when you were a kid.
I juggled bills, paying my cell phone bill every other month as I was able to come across odd jobs or borrow money from my parents. When that ran out, my phone got shut off until I could come up with money to get it going again. The same thing happened with my car insurance. It was interesting because it was the first time in my life when I was absolutely unable to come up with money for my bills and had no way of knowing how I could get it.
It’s funny how God works though, because 2009 is possibly the best year I’ve had in my life—not in spite of all these things, but because of them.
Have you ever not known where your next meal was going to come from? Have you ever had to eat as much as you could whenever you did get a chance to eat real food because you didn’t know when your next meal might be? Have you ever had to repeatedly quote, “Man does not live on bread alone, but by the word of God” until you really believe it? I’m amazed at what I learned about God and His provisions because of what I was forced to go through. Not having food every days sucks. But it turns out that not having food every day won’t kill you.
Last year I learned a lot about what constitutes actual needs. I came to the conclusion that really all we need physically are the things that keep us alive: food, water, shelter. And even those aren’t necessarily needs all of the time.
If a sheep keeps going astray (so I’m told), a shepherd will break it’s legs. Sounds cruel, but its inability to walk means that the shepherd must carry it around with him wherever they go. While the sheep heals, he is cared for by the shepherd and eventually comes to trust him. After it can walk, the sheep will not stray again because it has formed a bond with its caregiver. Sometimes it’s hard to trust God until you have an absolute need to do so. That’s why I’m thankful for the first half of my year.
Then there was the second half.
Lorne (our sax player at church) works for a property management company, and they were looking for someone to be a resident manager at one of their apartment complexes in Lakewood. At first I wasn’t interested, but as the week went on, I realized that I had been looking for months, and this was my first real job lead, so I went for it. I got the job, and I’ve been doing that since May. I work 20 hours a week, and I get free rent along with a paycheck every month. It’s a pretty sweet deal. My paychecks were big enough to start chipping away at the money I owed to various people (back rent, car insurance, cell phone), but I couldn’t quite get my head above water.
Then I found another job sorting mail on the graveyard shift. This job actually started the week that my mom bought me a couple weeks’ worth of groceries, so suddenly I had this new income that wasn’t immediately needed, and I was finally able to get current on all of my bills. I was even able to save up and spend some $300 on my family for Christmas. It felt great to be able to bless after depending so long on being blessed myself.
At the beginning of the year, I had no money, no job, and bills piled to the ceiling. To end the year, I was current on everything, was able to give back to my family, and I had $400 in the bank. It might not have been what I was thinking when I made my plans for 2009, but as far as my resolution goes, I would say mission accomplished: I had a pretty big year.
